I’m sure that got your attention, and I am sure you are expecting me to complain about the injustice of it all, but I hate to break it to you, but that’s not what this is about at all.
This is about why I don’t expect my husband to get me flowers at all. or chocolate or jewelry, or really to be romantic. The reason is that simply put; romance doesn’t mean a great deal to me. I don’t prescribe to the idea that I should want or need these things for my husband to prove that he loves me.
Honestly, to me, these things don’t prove that he loves me. I consider them somewhat disingenuous and artificial in meaning. Anyone can throw flowers at a person in hopes of appeasing them, but to me, these things matter far less than all the other things he does to show me he loves me. He takes care of me; he works hard so I can be here blogging to you. He’s moved all over the state in pursuit of my dreams. All of that means far more to me than a cheap box of chocolates.
It often seems that with the commercialization of things like valentine’s day, anniversaries, birthdays; I feel like society has put the message into our psyche that unless a person does these things they aren’t proving their worth. And let’s admit it, its typically a man being made to do these things for a woman, women aren’t usually held up to the same requirements on valentine’s day as men are.
Also, I think it’s important to understand that flowers, chocolates, and expensive jewelry are upholding the idea that women are generic, stereotypical beings and not the unique individuals that they are. I mean if flowers are important to you, then sure, enjoy them. But they are not necessary to me, and I much more appreciate it when my husband comes home and surprises me with a root beer, or a bag of hot cheetos, or something he knows I like. To me, that is far more romantic. This shows me that he is taking the time to understand my personal interests and tastes instead of assuming that I am like every other woman he’s ever met and placing me into a category. He treats me like an individual, an equal, not just a gender.
Moreover, I make an equal effort for him. What he puts into the marriage, I also put in. He works hard and takes care of me, so I take care of him. I don’t work right now, so I take it upon myself to do all the cooking, take care of the errands, the finances, and generally make plans for the future. I take care of these things so that all he has to worry about is working and when he comes home, he gets to relax and worry about nothing.
So if you are a romantic person and these sort of things equate to being romantic to you then fine, but you should understand that we all have certain degrees of that and we are not all the same. I think it’s time that society stopped trying to label, categorize, and stereotype us. My husband and I don’t need materialism to be romantic. I’ve never felt taken for granted by him or like he wasn’t affectionate enough and I make sure he doesn’t feel that way either. After all, we are a team.